A walk in the park
by Doodlett
Summary: Something small and sad to give you ZaDr feels. Review for one or two more chapters!
1. A walk in the park

Zim pushed. For a few moments, the couple didn't say anything as they listened to the soothing noise of the little peddles being crunched by the wheelchair. The alien pushed the chair in silence, glad that he could get his sweetheart out of that damned hospital, away from all the beeping and the endless, white halls. Away from the nervous intern-nurses who dropped everything, away from the wise old doctors who had too many patients to take care of.

The doctors had told them like it was obvious. No biggie. Cancer. Practically everywhere. Even Dib smiled when he heard the news.

'Well, that's it, then.' He had said. Gaz had smiled, placed her hand on Dib's shoulder and nodded while whispering: 'That sucks.' Zim seemed to be the only one to have heard that this was Dib's end. That he was going to die now.

They wouldn't start chemos, obviously. Dib was 86 years old and the cancer was in his blood, bones, liver... It was clearly the sign that now it's time to go. Time to stop. Time to die. And Zim was the only one who wasn't okay with it.

Zim had grown older too. Not taller, but he did age, although not that much. He didn't feel half as fit as he used to and sometimes his back started to ache when he had been standing for too long, but Zim still looked like he was in his late fifties. He didn't have wrinkles, age-marks and he didn't have any hair to turn grey or white. Whenever they met new people, everyone immediately assumed Zim was Dib's son. This had been hilarious for a couple of years. Zim would call him his father in public and then watch mouths drop as he pecked him on his lips in grocery shops.

'Stop! Zim, stop!'

The pleas shocked Zim right out of his memories and he blinked. For a second, he feared something was wrong, but Dib seemed quite content, pointing at the riverbanks.

'I want to sit here.' Came his old voice out of the wheelchair. He then proceeded to stand up, but Zim had jumped up in front of him before he could get to his feet.

'But there's a bench right there!' Dib protested, faintly trying to push Zim's claws on his chest away.

'You're staying in the wheelchair.' Zim commanded. Firmly, but not too roughly, pushing his husband back in his chair. Even a tiny push would have been enough, Dib was so weak he fell back immediately. It annoyed the alien.

'I'm not helpless. I want to sit on the bench.'

'Yes you are, now shut up.' Zim took his position behind the wheelchair again, as he pushed it forward to the river. He located it next to the wooden bench before flopping down on it. Zim panted, rubbing his face with his hands. When he looked up, Dib was staring at him, smiling.

'What?' Zim asked, rather aggressively.

'You're getting old, too.' Dib chuckled. He changed his view to the water and watched as big, red leaves slowly fell into the water. Zim growled annoyed.

Gir, the only one to not have changed a bit in over 70 years, ran to the water. He barked loudly to scare the ducks away, which worked, making Dib's smile wider.

'Why doesn't anyone question the fact that you're not dead yet?' Dib asked as a trembling hand went down to carefully pet Gir's head. Gir had learned to be a little more calm when Dib tried to touch him. He didn't answer to the question, but instead stared at the ducks who had landed somewhere else in the river.

Silence followed. Dib didn't seem to mind, petting Gir until the robot got tired of it and ran off. Zim watched as the pale, thin hand returned to it's lap and Dib stared at the leaves gathering on the water.

Zim didn't like the silence as much as his husband. Instead, he hated it. It made it seem like Dib was too weak, too tired and too old to fill it. To discuss hundreds of things like he used to, never running out of words, only stopping to kiss him. Or to laugh. Now he just sat there, like using the muscles in his lips to talk was too much.

But suddenly, he did.

'This might be my last day outside.'

Zim gasped, and then hissed. What the hell was he thinking, saying stuff like that? What was he trying to do, make him cry or something? No way. Zim hadn't cried when he had heard Dib was dying. And he won't. Crying is something teenage, human girls do. Not old, strong aliens.

'Shut your mouth, smelly human.' Zim growled. 'This isn't your last day outside. You're not going to die.'

'For the last time, Zim, yes I am. When will you accept that?'

'I won't! Unlike you, I'm not giving up that easily!'

Dib looked at him, questioning. He seemed to choose his words carefully before he opened those cracked, colorless lips again.

'It's not giving up. It's accepting the end.'

'You literally just explained what giving up means!' Zim cried.

This time, Dib answered quickly.

'Zim, shut up. Everything has an end, alright? I'm old and I'm weak. It's time to go.'

'But-'

'I told you to shut up!'

Dib stared at the water again and surprisingly, smiled.

'I told you to shut up so many times in my life. Listen to me this time, okay?'

Zim couldn't take it. He couldn't take the way Dib's hands trembled and the way his voice was so weak and quiet. He couldn't take it that Dib wasn't shouting, smiling, laughing the way he used to. He couldn't take it that Dib would never pick him up again, that he _couldn't _pick him up ever again.

'But you can't do this!' Zim suddenly blurted out. He started to feel so angry. So incredibly pissed at his lover. He wanted to hit him, right against his nose. He would have, if he didn't knew that would probably kill him.

'You can't do this- to me!' the alien cried, grabbing the wheelchair's armrest.

'What the hell am I going to do without you, Dib!?' He asked. 'I have nothing left when you're gone! Nowhere to go to, nobody to come home to, I'll be all alone! If you don't want to fight for yourself, then why not for me!?'

Zim could feel his alien heart pounding as he stared at Dib, waiting for answers. For anything.

Dib smiled again, but this time it was a sad smile. Zim could see his old, golden eyes getting wet with tears, but none of them trickled down his cheeks just yet. When he spoke, his voice didn't tremble.

'Because it's a losing battle. I've told you Zim, my time is up. It's over. I'm giving up, but maybe it isn't such a bad thing right now. I have accepted this, why can't you?'

Before Zim knew it, his body had already set into action. It stood up from the bench, took two steps and then fell in Dib's wheelchair, swinging his arms around his neck, not caring if this daring act would break a few bones in Dib's fragile body.

'Because I love you, you idiot.'

And then, Zim cried. His body, still small as ever, curled around Dib's, his feet coming of the floor as he now fully climbed onto his lover's lap. He buried his face in the pale neck and cried like he had never done before. His left claw hooked in Dib's shirt, pulling it, almost tearing it as the pain shot through Zim like a sword. He thought of his past- _their _past. Where it all started, as children. Where their relationship begun, as teenagers and how it turned into the best, most wonderful thing that ever happened to the boy. He lost track of time as he sat there, squeezing the fragile body with every memory that shot through him. Good, bad, happy, sad, all the memories hurt because they were the last of them. No more new memories of him and his human. It was all over now. He cried and shouted and whimpered, praying, no- _begging _Dib to stay with him. To not go, ever. Begging all the Gods he could think of to make the cancer disappear, to save his lover. To keep him alive and healthy and here, with him, on earth.

Only minutes after Zim had somewhat calmed down, he noticed Dib's hands, carefully embracing him and petting his back. Zim sniffled, as he sat up a little so he could look at Dib's face, but that turned out to be too painful. He stared at his own hands instead, still fondeling with Dib's baby-blue shirt.

Dib smiled. ''You done?'

Zim now couldn't help but chuckle. He nodded slowly, closing his eyes. Softly, he let their foreheads bump together.

'I'm going to miss you so, so much, Dib.' He admitted, still sniffing.

'I'm going to miss you, too. Lying six feet under the ground in a coffin for eternity would be a lot more fun with you.'

Zim chuckled again and moved to his human's neck again, nuzzling there. He finally fully calmed down, as all he could hear was Dib's breathing and Gir barking in the distance.


	2. A nap in the hospital

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Zim's cheek rested on the white sheets of the hospital bed. His eyes closed, he slowly started to drift off. Right before his head would fall off the bed, he felt a big hand on top of it. He jumped up.

Dib smiled at him.

'Go get some rest. You haven't slept for days.'

Zim mumbled something, lifting his hand to rub his tired eyes.

'What?'

'Don't scare me like that.'

Dib set back in his pillow, sighing a bit annoyed.

'Scare you? I can't even touch you without making it seem like I'm dying?'

'You know what I mean.' Zim answered, replacing his head on the mattress.

'Just go get some sleep, damn it!' Dib said, doing his best to raise his voice.

'No.' Came the short reply.

'I feel fine. I'll be here when you wake up.'

Zim raised his head and stared at the old man angrily.

'I have no doubt you'll be here. I'm just pretty sure you'll be here dead.'

'If I'm dead, they move me downstairs.' Dib chuckled.

Zim jumped up, nearly bumping over the vase on Dib's nightstand. He pointed a warning finger at his husband and started breathing heavily.

'DON'T JOKE ABOUT THAT.'

'Zim-'

'NO! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!'

'Zim, calm down, or a nurse will take you away.'

That helped, and Zim flopped down on the bed.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

With an annoyed face, Zim adjusted the huge, white pillow behind Dib's head. The human reached for his wrist.

'Zim. Go to bed.'

'No.'

'The nurses will warn you if something happens.'

Zim pulled his wrist away.

'You want me to sleep? Fine. Scoot over.'

The alien didn't give Dib time to 'scoot over' or even to consider, since he pushed the fragile body aside, making way for his own. He lied down on his stomach and burried his face in the pillow.

'Wha- Not here!' Dib protested, faintly pushing against Zim's shoulders.

'Why not? I always sleep next to you.'

'Yes but- Not now!' Dib seemed to panick a little. Zim raised his head to study his lover.

'What's wrong, Dib-thing?' the alien turned on his side so he could face Dib. He let his claws slip over Dib's chest to his neck, settling them there.

Dib swallowed and averted his eyes.

'I'm smelly.'

'You've always been, and you will always be.'

Dib didn't seem to like the joke. He shook his head, grabbed Zim's wrists and pushed them away.

'I'm old and smelly and haven't showered in God knows how long.. Get out of the bed!'

Now, Zim chuckled, stubbornly replacing his claws in Dib's neck.

'Shut up, Dib.'

'But I-'

'I refuse to feel disgusted by you.'

Dib swallowed again and Zim saw his eyes getting wet with tears. He closed them and then opened his arms a little, as to ask for a hug. Zim smiled and moved closer, carefully kissing the pale, wrinkled forehead.

'You are as sexy as ever right now, Dib.'

'I'm wearing a diaper.'

'A sexy diaper.'

Dib seemed to choke on the sudden wave of laughter that came over him. He covered his face with his hands and shook it.

'Oh my God, Zim..' He chuckled. 'You're the only one who could make me laugh at my deathbed.'

The alien enjoyed his husband's joy, softly chuckling with him.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It got quiet. They lied still next to each other, listening to the machines, the sounds outside the room and each others breaths. Zim played with Dib's thin fingers for a while.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He looked up. Dib's eyes were closed, he was smiling faintly.

'Dib?'

'Hmm?'

'Where do you think you'll go when you die?'

Dib opened his eyes and blinked them slowly. He seemed to think about this for a few seconds, playing with Zim's fingers in return.

'I don't know.' He then decided.

'Are you scared?'

'A little.'

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

'What are you afraid of?'

'Ehm..' Dib whispered, 'Going to hell for being gay?'

Zim chuckled quietly.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

'Dib?'

Dib didn't answer. Zim looked up immediately, his heart beating alarmed.

'Dib!?'

'Hmm..' Came a soft answer. Zim sighed in relief and dropped his head again.

'Sorry.. I'm tired..' Dib whispered. It was so quiet... Zim took a deep breath.

'Well, go nap, then.'

'Thanks..'

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

'Dib. Wait.'

Dib sighed and seemed a little annoyed. 'Hmm? What now?'

Zim waited for Dib to open his eyes. When he did, he said quietly:

'Before you take a nap... You should know that I love you.'

Dib took a few seconds to let that sink in. Then, he smiled widely, closing his eyes.

'I love you.' He whispered.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Zim closed his eyes, too. Damn, he was so tired. He hadn't slept for days, too scared that he'd miss Dib's death if he would go to bed. So this time, he didn't allow himself to fall asleep either. He just lied there and led his muscles rest a little. The slow, steady breaths and the beeping noise soothed him. It proved that Dib was still alive. Alive and here, with him.

Zim smiled a little, getting comfortable in the soft sheets.

_He couldn't get enough. He couldn't get enough of that taste. That tongue, those hands on his body. Those muscular arms holding him up, pushing him against the wall._

_Zim moaned, pulling Dib's yet black hairs, trying to deepen the kiss even more. _

'_Easy there..' Came his soft voice. Oh, so filled with desire. So sexy._

'_Come on, Dib, let's go downstairs.'_

'_Oh, but we've just started?' Dib chuckled, shaking his head._

_Zim cupped it with both his hands, staring into his golden eyes. He took all of his beauty in. His pink lips, his long eyelashes, long nose and those black locks.. Irk, he loved that face._

_They seemed lost in each other's looks. Dib raised one hand to brush it across Zim's soft skin. He carefully traced the freckled cheekbones before pushing up his chin._

'_God, Zim, you drive me crazy.'_

_Zim's smile widened all over his face. Without wasting more words, he pulled Dib closer in another kiss. He won't let go. Ever._

_Beeeeeeeeeep..._

Zim jumped up. He stared at the machines next to Dib's bed. He didn't even see the doctor and nurse running into the room. All he could look at was the straight line on the monitor.

_Beeeeeeeeeep..._

No.

Time slowed down. Zim's vision blurred, his hearing weakened. He felt hands on his arms and shoulders, trying to pull him away from Dib, trying to get him off the bed. Away from Dib.

'N-NO! NO! DIB!'

Zim could hear faint words. People were trying to talk to him, trying to get him off the bed, trying to calm him down.

Zim lurched forward. He pulled the blankets off of his lover and grabbed Dib's head. He stared at that face. That beautiful, sweet face he came to know so well. He knew it by heart. Every beauty mark, every freckle, every wrinkle. He held it in in his hands and stared at it, waiting. Waiting to see him open his eyes.

'DIB! DIB WAKE UP!'

Zim choked in his tears, and that's when the nurses and the doctor gathered enough strength to pull him off the bed. Zim tried to hold on to Dib's face, burying his nails in his cheeks, but they pulled him away. Away from Dib.

'DIB! DIB WAKE UP! WAKE UP!'

One of the nurses pulled the plug and the long 'beeep' got cut.

'NO! HE NEEDS THAT TO LIVE! PLUG IT BACK IN! DIB, WAKE UP!'

The other nurse pulled up a white sheet and covered Dib's lifeless body with it. Inch by inch disappeared under the white sheet and Zim didn't understand why the fuck he didn't just wake up.

'DON'T- GET IT OFF! HE CAN'T BREATHE LIKE THIS!'

The doctor turned towards a nurse.

'Time of death: 10:17.'

Zim screamed. He collapsed to the ground and screamed his Irken lungs out. His world had collapsed. It was all over. Dib was dead. Dib was dead.

His screams got cut short with sobs. Sobs that wrecked him to the bone. The pain, oh god, the pain. It felt like there was knife stuck in his chest. He ignored the hands that tried to get him to stand up. He ignored everything. He just stared at the silhouette of Dib's body under that goddamn white sheet.


	3. A chat in the church

'I am so sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.'

Zim didn't even respond anymore. He just allowed the unknown woman to shake his hand. He didn't correct her, hell, he didn't even look at her. He didn't care about what she thought or who she was. Zim didn't care about anything anymore.

Also, she certainly wasn't the first to make this mistake. If Zim had to correct everyone who had been in this line, he would've been a lot faster by hanging up a giant sign with 'THE DEAD MAN WAS MY HUSBAND' in the church.

Most of the people that had come to the funeral hadn't known Dib (or Zim) personally. Half of them had only known Dib's father, who obviously died himself a long time ago. Dr. Membrane was forgotten in society, but some old fans were loyal enough to visit his son's funeral.

Zim didn't care. He didn't care who these people were and why they were here. He was just standing there, accepting the 'sorry for your loss'-es and sometimes humming a 'hmhm' when he vaguely remembered a face. Gaz stood next to him, and she wasn't acting much different than he did.

Gaz was old, too. 82, to be exact. She was very healthy and energetic for her age and didn't seem to mind having to stand for such a long time. Unlike Zim, she had a family. Her husband had died, but she still had her son, daughter in law and their two daughters.

'Can't believe the asshole's dead.'

Zim looked up. It was one of the first things Gaz had said. He hadn't seen her sad for a second that day. Heart made of stone.

'Yeah.'

Silence. They shook some more hands and Zim smiled sarcastically when another person thought he had been Dib's son.

'So.. What's going to happen to you now?' Gaz asked, her eyes glaring over. Zim stared at her honey colored eyes and swallowed. They reminded him of Dib's too much.

'Not much. I don't have anyone else left. ' Zim answered honestly. He sighed and frowned.

'Unless I count you. Which I don't.'

'Not so rude, I'm the closest thing to a family member you have left.'

'No. That's Gir.'

'Oh.'

Gaz snickered. It was the kind of 'you're so pathetic' snicker she often did. It didn't even make Zim angry. After all, he didn't care about anything anymore.

Except for maybe Gir.

He had grown incredibly fond of his robot since Dib had died. Now that the most beloved person in his life was gone, he had turned towards the next best thing: his little sidekick. All Zim had done since that one terrible evening was lay in bed and cry. Gir had been a good companion, petting his head and making food for him.

'I'm going to him.' Zim said as he walked away.

'We're not done accepting condolences, Zim, come back.'

But he had already entered the church. He walked down the aisle, ignoring all the guests who were choosing a spot to sit or chatting little. He stared at the open chest in the center of the church, walking quicker as he reached it.

'Hi.' He whispered as he kneeled at the chest. He stared at Dib's body.

He was wearing a beautiful, grey suit Gaz had picked and Zim had paid. Zim carefully adjusted the blue tie before placing his hand on Dib's cheek.

So cold.

Here, next to the chest, was the only place he felt at peace. The thought of having to watch it close made him cringe. They were going to bury him. Bury him deep in the ground. What the hell was wrong with humans?

Zim sighed, placing his cheek on the chest's edge. Uncomfortable as it was, he still relaxed his muscles, staring at Dib's face.

**I want to thank everyone for the views and reviews on this fic! It is finished now, I'll leave you and your broken heart alone now. XD Thank you again!**


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